The bitchy breed
Women, we are a breed of bitchy characters with very little regard for other females in our species.
Never more is this so than when it comes to rearing our offspring.
If you haven’t already had a child, you might not know how interfering and suddenly extremely ‘knowledgeable’ other females can be, but beware, the second you fall pregnant, there will be ‘friends’ and ‘family’ who know exactly what you SHOULD be doing!
It won’t matter what your obstetrician, gynaecologist, paediatrician, doctor, and other experts will tell you, your well-meaning friends will know MUCH MUCH MORE!
Obviously all the professional experts who went to school for many years, paid a fortune for their education and in most cases have had lots of experience, have done so for absolutely nothing – why on earth did they bother when someone like an medically uneducated female knows it all without a degree and can give much better advice?
To the medical professionals who deal with pregnancy, babies, toddlers and children – you may as well just retire now – your services are no longer required – you obviously know nothing. YEAH SURE – NOT!
Don’t for one minute think that I don’t admire the experience and expertise many of these well-meaning people have, I do, but somewhere along the line, they have confused ‘experience’ with a degree and think they need to lecture on what they know. Their experience and advice can be invaluable, but it MUST be asked for before they start running off at the mouth.
I am long past this stage in my life, my children are all grown up and they have presented me with beautiful grandchildren, but it pains me no end to see and hear that they and so many others are suffering at the tongues of others who think they know everything.
When I was pregnant there was not one single soul who told me how I should be managing my pregnancy, other than my medical practitioner of course. But when my first was born I did receive a few helpful hints, but nothing at all like young mothers experience today.
These days everyone seems to want to weigh in on everything you do.
You aren’t breastfeeding? — OH NO, you MUST breastfeed – I don’t care about your reasons, you simply MUST.
You are using WHAT kind of nappy? — OH NO, you MUST use the type I use because they are the best.
Your baby has nappy rash? — That’s because YOU chose the wrong type of nappy — YOU are feeding your baby the wrong food, YOU should feed your baby what I feed mine because my baby has NEVER had happy rash.
You give your baby a dummy/pacifier? — OH NO, you simply MUST NOT EVER do that, because mine doesn’t need one neither should yours.
You put your baby to bed when? – OH NO, my perfect child always goes to bed at 6pm and sleeps until 9am – I have the perfect child – you should do what I’m doing then your baby will sleep too.
It won’t matter what you do, you will have friends tell you that you are doing the wrong thing.
Now, I have been putting down all this advice but I am about to give you some of my own advice, ironic, but read it before you judge –
- This is YOUR pregnancy/baby/child – listen to your health professionals but ultimately what you do is up to YOU.
- Be strong – this is particularly tough as you are exhausted but you need to be strong to cope with my third tip
- Learn to tell people to butt out of things – you can say it nicely, or you can tell them to EFF OFF.
These days, as I get older and MUCH wiser, EFF OFF is my preferred option!
To all the non-educated professionals – learn to keep your mouths shut, what you do MIGHT be working for you but in reality, you are probably just telling a whole heap of lies about how perfect your pregnancy/baby/toddler/child/life is – NOTHING IS PERFECT and you shouldn’t ever expect it to be.
Maybe you feel the need to tell everyone how good you are at being a mum and how good your child is and how good your life is because you are feeling insecure, maybe there is something missing from your life that you feel the need to tell someone/everyone how good you are and how valuable your opinion is. I think it is much more important to listen to your friends, give advice ONLY if they ask for it, be supportive of their choices and decisions, then maybe we, as the females of this species, can have some more self esteem and trust in the decision WE make.